World Cup Day 14: Diving and Writhing

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Jerry Palacios of Honduras (c) is challenged by Valon Behrami (l) and Johan Djourou during Honduras v Switzerland, June 25.

Image: Stu Forster, Getty

By Chris Taylor2014-06-26 06:04:08 UTC

Think of a star soccer player, especially a striker, and what negative stereotype comes to mind? Something about taking a dive in the penalty area, perhaps?

It's a temptation inherent to the role of being a forward in soccer — the temptation to fool the officials, the only arbiters of reality on the pitch, and the eyes of the world be damned. There is no video replay in soccer. Even the most eagle-eyed referee is going to have to make a split-second decision based purely on his eyesight, and eyesight can be fooled. Feel a defender's hand on your back, time your fall with just the right forward motion, and you might just get lucky and win a near-automatic free goal, ie. a penalty kick.

Everyone's been there — just ask Jurgen Klinsmann. His spectacular swan dive was about the only memorable thing about West Germany's World Cup final win in 1990.

See also: World Cup Recap Day 13: Reality Bites

But things changed after 2008, with the appliance of science. A landmark study looked at diving in soccer, and effectively handed refs the keys to the kingdom of tell-tale signs. In 2009, soccer authorities started letting refs hand out yellow cards for ridiculous play-acting.

So refs are getting fooled less. That doesn't mean players aren't trying; it just means some are trying more than others. And it also seems to mean players are putting more effort into the writhing part of the equation: if you look really hurt, and may even on the ground writhing until the big orange stretcher comes, well, that would certainly make the ref less likely to book you for play-acting, at least.

Which brings us to Honduras, eliminated from the World Cup Wednesday courtesy of a 3-0 demolition by the Swiss. Honduras are an utterly unremarkable CONCACAF team in a year where its two CONCACAF brethren, the U.S. and Costa Rica, are heroically outperforming all expectations.

Unremarkable, that is, except that Honduras wins the World Cup of diving and writhing. According to the Wall Street Journal's extensive analysis of every team's first two games, Honduran players spent a record 7 minutes and 40 seconds on the ground in no less than 15 largely fake injuries.

And who almost pipped Honduras to the post here, with 7 minutes and 19 seconds of writhing? The French, who have been a spectacular team in the first two games of this tournament, but suddenly came down with a case of the blahs in today's 0-0 snoozefest against Ecuador. Go figure. (The French didn't need to score; they exited their group in top position anyway, the Swiss in second place.)

Meanwhile, another team with a high score in diving and writhing, Nigeria (6 minutes 25 seconds), came up against Argentina. Now, due to growing up in the 1980s, the age of Maradona and his ilk, I would have guessed Argentina would be somewhere near the top of the diving and writhing charts. But this is the bright shining new Argentina, the Argentina of Lionel Messi, and they've actually spend less time in fake agony (2 minutes 48 seconds) than England (3 minutes 8 seconds).

See also: World Cup Day 12 Recap: It's All Fun and Games Until You Win the Group

And what happened? Argentina, the team that doesn't dive, won with two fabulous Messi goals of the kind that remind you why we watch this game, a curling free kick and a marvelous steal three minutes in, in a thrilling 3-2 battle that saw the Nigerian team rack up as many yellow cards as goals.

But hey, the Super Eagles are to be applauded too, for their never-say-quit attitude that drew them level at one point. Most of all, we need to applaud midfielder Michel Babatunde, the victim of friendly fire from a teammate's powerful kick. Here's the moment where Babatunde's arm caught the force of the shot. (Warning: you probably shouldn't be eating right now.)

No, arms aren't meant to do that. Yes, that very likely is Babatunde's bones shattering.

For all the stereotypes, let us remember: soccer is a fundamentally physical, brutal game played without any armor. No-fault injuries are more common than diving and writhing.

Sometimes, the agony is real.

Topics: world cup, Entertainment, Sports