The 10 Most Passive-Aggressive Things You're Doing on Social Media

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Image: Mashable Composite. Getty Creative, Jacquie Boyd

By Sylvan Lane2014-06-27 11:08:06 UTC

Being a source of negative energy on social media is more than just starting arguments, posting unappealing content and being a generally unpleasant person.

In fact, you may not realize that what you're doing is maddening to those subjected to see it.

See also: 20 Things Your Most Annoying Friends Do on Facebook

Here are 10 ways you could be ruining your social media presence without even knowing it.

1. The sub-post

Talking about someone behind his back isn't new, and neither is doing it in a place where he can hear it. Naturally, this prime method of passive-aggressive behavior has translated to social media — through the sub-post.

You can find them on Facebook as sub-statuses...

Image: Mashable, Facebook

...but "subtweeting" is a staple for teenagers on Twitter.

Image: Mashable, Twitter.

But sub-posts only make the problem worse, whatever it may be. Pick up the phone, or even just send a personal message instead.

2. 'Vaguebooking'

We all have problems and emotions, and sometimes we need to share them with our friends on social media. While there isn't anything inherently wrong with that, vaguely alluding to what's bothering you as a plea for attention — or "vaguebooking" — is an awful way of finding support, but it's a fantastic way of aggravating your friends and followers.

If an offender really wants to hammer home just how horrible they feel, he might just throw in a picture. After all, a somber selfie writes a thousand sub-posts.

Image: Mashable, Facebook

Sometimes, the offender might mix in a little sarcasm to take the edge off of the post. Snapchat lends itself perfectly to a quick burst of feels that will vanish, along with any sympathy you had for the person who sent them.

If you're dealing with serious emotional distress, talk to a close friend or family member. And if someone you know constantly does this, ask them if there's anything they'd like to talk about. Otherwise, it's just a desperate ploy for attention that will repel people from helping you if you really need it.

3. The 'humblebrag'

Sometimes when you work hard, good things happen to you and you want to tell the world. Be proud! Shout your achievements from the virtual rooftops and bask in the onslaught of likes, comments and emoticons headed your way! But don't undermine your accomplishments and overstate your humility with a humblebrag.

At its core, a humblebrag is any post about an award, accomplishment or generally good thing that happened to you that you mask with a feeling other than the pride and thankfulness to appear humble — and there's usually a few hashtags, too.

Image: Mashable, Facebook

If you want to share your good news with your social networks, go on ahead. If you got your dream job or won an award, thank the people who supported you and helped you get to that point. If you're going on an amazing vacation, mention how thrilled you are to explore a place you never thought you'd be able to visit.

Above everything, be genuine. Chances are your friends will be just as excited as you are, and if you're concerned about how you come off with the post, ask a friend to look it over. Or, just don't share it at all.

4. The overzealous grammar checker

Spelling and grammar are important, but on social media, sometimes it's best to let things slide. Whether you're trolling your friends or copy editing your News Feed, making excessive spelling and grammar corrections on posts and statuses will often annoy the person who made the slip-up — and everyone reading it — more than the actual error itself.

If the error is bad enough to change the meaning of the sentence, or even if it's really bugging you, just send the person a private message. He or she might be appreciative of the correction, or might tell you to buzz off. Either way, you can suggest a correction without putting someone on blast for being human.

5. The birthday bouncer

There are plenty of ways to be passive aggressive toward someone on their birthday, including: Liking a birthday post on his Timeline without wishing him a happy birthday, making a disingenuous comment about whatever he is doing for his special day when you know you aren't invited, and deliberately wishing certain friends a happy birthday and not others just to make a statement.

However, there is almost nothing worse than de-friending someone on his birthday. Sure, you haven't spoken to that person in three years and probably wouldn't even speak to him if you saw him in real life. And yeah, he won't notice he's missing one friend on his special day. But choosing to take someone out of your virtual life on the only day of the year he has the right to be happy no matter what happens is just cruel.

Let that sink in. How does it feel now?

6. The 50 shades of FOMO

The fear of missing out (FOMO) — that sinking feeling in your gut when you realize you could be having a lot more fun doing something else — is the Internet's cash crop.

With a virtual bounty of party pictures from Facebook, Instagrams from exotic places and Snapchats from concerts inundating you every time you use your phone, it's easy to think you're the least interesting person on the face of the earth when you're constantly watching your friend's highlight reels.

See also: 12 Most Cliché Photos on Instagram

Of course, it's even easier to be passive aggressive about it. Are you bitter because your friends went out and didn't tell you? Did you like the picture he posted from the venue? Are you jealous because your brother copped tickets to the concert you wanted to go to but didn't get one for you? Did you send him a Snapchat of you listening to that band in your boxers while you funnel cereal crumbs down your throat?

The possibilities, like FOMO itself, are endless. Just remember, one day, you'll be on the receiving end of it, and it doesn't feel good.

7. The post-relationship onslaught

The day you've been dreaming of has finally come: The girl you've had a crush on for months, even years, has finally broken up with her significant other. Now, your mind cycles through what to say and do to win her affection.

And then you blow your chances to bits by liking her new profile picture and relationship change on Facebook, her seven most recent photos on Instagram and sending her a poorly lit selfie on Snapchat with nothing but a heart Emoji as text — LL within the first five minutes of the news breaking.

Setting aside the fact that it's creepy as hell, it's a far too passive way of wooing someone and a way too aggressive way of telling someone you've been desperately waiting for her. If you've waited that long for Dream Girl to be single, you can wait a little bit longer for her to be ready to date again.

And if one of your close friends just became single, don't plaster his Facebook with listicles reaffirming how great it is to be single, or music videos about moving on and being independent just to blast his ex. Even if the person he was involved with was a horrid human being, take the high road and don't subversively attack someone who shouldn't be worth your time.

Image: Mashable, Facebook

8. The endless event invitation

If FOMO is the Internet's cash crop, event invitations are the diseases that destroy fields upon fields of it. Being constantly connected to so many people means knowing exactly when they're hosting an event, which can become tiresome by itself.

What's even worse is getting a deluge of invites for the same event, and the host not bothering to send you a personal message explaining why he'd like you to attend. Nothing says you care more about someone's attendance than harassing him on Facebook without regard for what he'd get out of attending.

If you really want someone to come to your housewarming party, beer league championship game or improv show, convince him the old-fashioned way: Talk to him.

9. The petty unfollow

Having a strong Twitter following means people think your contributions to the Internet are worth reading. You might follow him back for the same reason, or just out of courtesy. However, sometimes love at first favorite starts to wane, and a formerly devoted apostle of your pithy offerings decides to part ways.

No matter how much it hurts, you shouldn't unfollow someone just because he unfollowed you. If you honestly value their input, perspective or humor, then keep following and try to move on. Otherwise, you send the person a passive-aggressive message that your Twitter relationship should have never been more than a one-retweet stand. That said, if you only followed him because he followed you in the first place and are tired of his tweets, then return the favor and make your timeline a little less cluttered. There are plenty of tweeters out there anyway.

10. The 'been there, seen that'

You're aimlessly scrolling through your Twitter timeline when you find the perfect piece of Internet gold to share with your friend. You mumble to yourself about how your friend will flip out when he sees this, and you post it to his Facebook Timeline.

His response: "Yeah, saw this yesterday."

Even though it isn't the most labor-intensive thing in the world to do, when someone shares a special piece of the Internet with you that you already saw, have some manners and show a little appreciation. You wouldn't ignore a birthday card someone gave you because someone else got you the same kind.

After all, even if the gift sucks, it's the thought that counts.

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Topics: Facebook, Social Media, Twitter