Who Should Apple Buy? Google Autocomplete Suggests Acquisitions

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By Chris Taylor2013-10-28 23:23:49 UTC

In case you haven't noticed, Apple is ridiculously wealthy and just keeps getting ridiculously wealthier. As of its earnings call Monday, the company has $146.8 billion in the bank. That's not only a record for cash on hand, it's 10% of all corporate cash (not counting financial companies) on the planet.

The drumbeat for Apple to do something with that money — perhaps a stock buyback, per Carl Icahn's suggestion; perhaps a few major acquisitions — has been growing for years. But Apple isn't alone. Most major tech giants have substantial piles of cash burning holes in their wallets.

See also: Is Apple Getting Into New Categories? Tim Cook Says It 'Can'

Microsoft has $68 billion in the bank. Google has a not-too-shabby $50 billion. Yahoo and Amazon have about $5 billion apiece. Facebook has a couple of billion to play with.

Clearly, these companies are spoiled for choice. To give them some ideas — and to get the economy moving again — we decided to ask that oracle of all things in the modern world, Google autocomplete. Here's what the algorithm — based on both search results and web content — told us.

Apple Should Buy ...

Apple has long needed an out-of-the-box play to shake the company up and enter new product categories — and autocomplete has just the thing! Its first suggestion: Elon Musk's disruptive electric car maker Tesla. It makes sense: both companies are obsessed with design, precision manufacturing, storefronts, and the luxury market. Apple's cash hoard could help construct a nationwide network of charging stations within a year. Are you ready for the iRoadster?

Amazon Should Buy ...

Amazon doesn't have anywhere near the cash to buy Netflix (market cap: $18 billion), and it already has a streaming video service in Amazon Prime. But maybe the WebOS, currently owned by LG, could come in handy for a new range of Kindles?

Facebook Should Buy ...

The social network has consistently denied that it is interested in manufacturing a Facebook phone. But Autocomplete knows better, and it knows where to find a whole heap of cheap smartphone engineers. Mark Zuckerberg had better save up his pennies for BlackBerry, currently worth around $4.7 billion.

Google Should Buy ...

Autocomplete saves its most ambitious suggestion for its parent company: Google should buy the entire city of Detroit? Or perhaps it means the big three automakers? We're betting the city currently comes a little cheaper.

Microsoft Should Buy ...

Microsoft could certainly afford BlackBerry — but given that the company just paid $7.2 billion for Nokia's manufacturing division and intellectual property, that might be one phone company too many. Atlus is a Japanese videogame maker that was acquired back in 2010. Chip-maker AMD, however, would be a smart play if Microsoft wanted to get further into the hardware market.

Yahoo Should Buy ...

Another smart suggestion — after all, Yahoo has always harbored ambitions to be a broadcast media giant. Could Marissa Mayer afford content giant Hulu the way she snapped up Tumblr? Quite possibly, but it might hamper her ongoing startup-buying spree.

Are you seeing different autocomplete results in your region or country? Let us know in the comments.

Image: Flickr, Photosteve101

Topics: Acqusition, apple, Business, google autocomplete